Sitting in bed, sipping milk from my cereal, I speculate if what happened was factual,,
Am I still dreaming live or the show already collapsed and back I am making a show of my own.
While munching popcorns, that I forgot to share with my brother, I was contemplating of updates that would bring loads f critical comment, seriously critical, ones with detestation, loathe ones, but after I was blacked out, the thunder of the applaud is still ringing in the cubicles of my head and it carries me back to reality.
What I just saw was all a dream it said, and what all I perceived -real. No matter how intense things could be it was a figment in a figment, in another larger figment, in probably still more figments to join creating gosh a labyrinth with only one escape and dt of the predator. If I relate it to physics, all one theory (not to forget I love it from the cores) dreams as the movie talked of is running like our universe, probably like the present, this very moment, gift wrapped zillionth of times, I feel not so tired though after flaking it all, what to find Is an awakening. Well backing some time, I was talking of critical acclaims to welcome. Do u remember, harry potter enemies, people who hate his success thinking there is no substance in it, stupid fantasy. Huh, I say now, all it was not new, the idea wasn’t, may be hp wasn’t the inspiration, but if you chisel hearty credits for the idea, share some with jk rowling for flooding her books with stupendous powerful substance such as these. Anyway, of course critics are still welcome.
But sincerely speaking, give trickle of silence to the actors who poised a brilliant act, cheers to the director, the writer. The idea no matter I wanted to save for other discussion, the whole plot takes me to another level of direction for conversation. It makes my soul talk like future, and head go around in past, while I am still nothing, moving in the infinite space. And if you are still trying to figure out where is the present, I am disappointed that you tried!!!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
s goes for a start
Its only but a beginning,
Where there is no need to spell start right
And think about those jubilant times
Antic as It may sound
One such place does exist
In the cores of peanut butter in your head
Ethics get older n so it changes time
From the bounds of hangover
And the drum roll of laughter
A pang of realization endows
Giving nothing but no clue
Right or wrong the way may be
It begins with a tsunami of play
The s mentions itself but far still the end
To name it all you need help
An indication of support comes from the roots
and hence ironic if avoided
I wish them all, I respect them due
Cannot understand what we must head to
At least it’s an open world
The power f freedom
The will to your own experience
In the middle somehow we reach
Just to find love despair n some altitudes
Himalayas enclose it all
N so does bricks in d head
Trick d anonymity n worth a mark
Close to end you might find it hard
Eyes tight shut n praying along
For all you conquered, for all that annihilate
Supper was served early
Dessert is left for the feast, argh! the beast
Risk it, live it, just believe it
Crossroads may confuse you now
Lottery tickets can be alluring
Come clasp the hands tight
N forget it all, cause the end never mattered
Damn! It’s all advised just for an amazing start
Where there is no need to spell start right
And think about those jubilant times
Antic as It may sound
One such place does exist
In the cores of peanut butter in your head
Ethics get older n so it changes time
From the bounds of hangover
And the drum roll of laughter
A pang of realization endows
Giving nothing but no clue
Right or wrong the way may be
It begins with a tsunami of play
The s mentions itself but far still the end
To name it all you need help
An indication of support comes from the roots
and hence ironic if avoided
I wish them all, I respect them due
Cannot understand what we must head to
At least it’s an open world
The power f freedom
The will to your own experience
In the middle somehow we reach
Just to find love despair n some altitudes
Himalayas enclose it all
N so does bricks in d head
Trick d anonymity n worth a mark
Close to end you might find it hard
Eyes tight shut n praying along
For all you conquered, for all that annihilate
Supper was served early
Dessert is left for the feast, argh! the beast
Risk it, live it, just believe it
Crossroads may confuse you now
Lottery tickets can be alluring
Come clasp the hands tight
N forget it all, cause the end never mattered
Damn! It’s all advised just for an amazing start
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
MASKED...!
Afterall, it’s the very hide-it-all attitude that carried him so far. From the times immemorial he has punctuated with people who never-ever shared his interests. He respected for old, loved the young, and smiled for his likes. But today a certain set of not so popular words caught his sight. It is a story, real and not so reel, of a young but old boy who caught in his confusion turned his life upside down until today. I hope you are reading still and might want to question about the use of so many contradictions and but(s). To give a clearer picture, lets move along his life.
Sitting near the edge of a weird triangular table, dawning 35 years old him sipped tea from his coffee. He had asked his wife to get him some coffee, never mind!, she excused herself with only tea available kind of something. Weird, hush, interesting triangular table sat cross legged mocking him loud in his face. It was another of those high priced, good for nothing goods he had made himself used to. His wife loved the society they habituated, and he loathed it with equal intensity. His emotions and words travelled parellel to his wife’s with the speed of light, no doubt one heading south and the other aiming north. But airing such wisp of notions was surely macabre of his debonair outlook.
When he was young he asked his mother once, whether he was born to lead or follow. “Not born, made!”, she inspired him to lead but with traditional permutations and combinations.
He wanted to attend theater, he was forced to operas. He liked kebabs, but managed with garden salad.
His mind turned into a small closet, with no private or public keys, just an inner hole that bore deep in his heart. He tried but failed to walk his mind.
And still, no appreciation. He looked up to every body’s need but him..!
I read in a book (hearty thanks to one of my co-writers here), “a man who lugs up the hill only to learn that its full of rocks”, surely makes an applauded entry here.
Tending to darkness his life, he was forced to tend only white. No matter what he thought, he followed the people’s word around. Weighed people’s opinion more than his own.
Last night, even his love for a child collapsed all virtual tents when his wife talked hours of family planning.
Standing up from the mist of yesterday’s fight, he remembered the need to dress. He picked up a newspaper on his way to busy his journey and continued walking. The rage already setting in. Probably he was made to settle with everything but his long desire of a child being washed with bitter detergent, filled him with rage. He read, “a 50 year old killed his wife on their 25th anniversary”.
The doors of metro opened and closed, but now those fraction of seconds meant a whole new thoughtful world.
He entered and smiled.
At last I thought, finally this can be his last session!
Narrating the last night’s incident, a courage fight, thanks to me. A mischievous smile comes to his face, “Doc”, he said. “ I am going to kill”. I got up from my chair, walked to the window, and suddenly I realized he talked of killing. My sudden turn, made him shift. Clearing my doubts, he told me, “he is going to kill what people think, what people think they know and what they think I am ought to make out of myself”. I was moved, that what I thought – a changed man, confident of his being. His cheeks glowed of his newly discovered confidence, my chest aired of proud. No more cockcrows, no more rancor; just a changed man, fully confident of his being! No more it was about the parenthood he wanted, no more it was about the unnecessary triangular tables, I was amazed how could just a short death of one’s deepest desire could actually change people’s lives and absolutely trigger the very thought I could not manage in six months. But finally, he was a new man dreaming high and ready to work for his dreams, and thats what I thought – a changed man, confident of his being!
I had seen so many patients and all proved the same thing, nothing more than a small incident coupled their life with emotions, desire, and the strength to fulfill these. My sessions were simply a back end driving force. He walked out, and before leaving asked me for a final appointment. He wished to narrate his new life as a life.
My excitement took a leap, as the time neared. He was standing on the door with a new self. He entered and took his seat, not the usual couch where he laid talking all about his life. He took a seat in front of my desk. “I watched three theatres in a row and got home late”, he said. He wrote his new project and left his job. Absolutely new, thats what I thought- a changed man, confident of his being. Not just this, he managed an outdoor late night party with his friends. And of course they too were amazed by his outward self. On and on he went about his stories full of life. Deep into the satisfaction of another cured patient, a changed man I thought, confident of his being, I realized that he suddenly shifted the course of his conversation. Huh? It involved me. Thats what I thought – a changed man, confident of his being, until this moment, when he had come down to my cabin for his last scheduled psychotherapy treatment- he said he has fallen for me. Alas! Still a followed man!
Sitting near the edge of a weird triangular table, dawning 35 years old him sipped tea from his coffee. He had asked his wife to get him some coffee, never mind!, she excused herself with only tea available kind of something. Weird, hush, interesting triangular table sat cross legged mocking him loud in his face. It was another of those high priced, good for nothing goods he had made himself used to. His wife loved the society they habituated, and he loathed it with equal intensity. His emotions and words travelled parellel to his wife’s with the speed of light, no doubt one heading south and the other aiming north. But airing such wisp of notions was surely macabre of his debonair outlook.
When he was young he asked his mother once, whether he was born to lead or follow. “Not born, made!”, she inspired him to lead but with traditional permutations and combinations.
He wanted to attend theater, he was forced to operas. He liked kebabs, but managed with garden salad.
His mind turned into a small closet, with no private or public keys, just an inner hole that bore deep in his heart. He tried but failed to walk his mind.
And still, no appreciation. He looked up to every body’s need but him..!
I read in a book (hearty thanks to one of my co-writers here), “a man who lugs up the hill only to learn that its full of rocks”, surely makes an applauded entry here.
Tending to darkness his life, he was forced to tend only white. No matter what he thought, he followed the people’s word around. Weighed people’s opinion more than his own.
Last night, even his love for a child collapsed all virtual tents when his wife talked hours of family planning.
Standing up from the mist of yesterday’s fight, he remembered the need to dress. He picked up a newspaper on his way to busy his journey and continued walking. The rage already setting in. Probably he was made to settle with everything but his long desire of a child being washed with bitter detergent, filled him with rage. He read, “a 50 year old killed his wife on their 25th anniversary”.
The doors of metro opened and closed, but now those fraction of seconds meant a whole new thoughtful world.
He entered and smiled.
At last I thought, finally this can be his last session!
Narrating the last night’s incident, a courage fight, thanks to me. A mischievous smile comes to his face, “Doc”, he said. “ I am going to kill”. I got up from my chair, walked to the window, and suddenly I realized he talked of killing. My sudden turn, made him shift. Clearing my doubts, he told me, “he is going to kill what people think, what people think they know and what they think I am ought to make out of myself”. I was moved, that what I thought – a changed man, confident of his being. His cheeks glowed of his newly discovered confidence, my chest aired of proud. No more cockcrows, no more rancor; just a changed man, fully confident of his being! No more it was about the parenthood he wanted, no more it was about the unnecessary triangular tables, I was amazed how could just a short death of one’s deepest desire could actually change people’s lives and absolutely trigger the very thought I could not manage in six months. But finally, he was a new man dreaming high and ready to work for his dreams, and thats what I thought – a changed man, confident of his being!
I had seen so many patients and all proved the same thing, nothing more than a small incident coupled their life with emotions, desire, and the strength to fulfill these. My sessions were simply a back end driving force. He walked out, and before leaving asked me for a final appointment. He wished to narrate his new life as a life.
My excitement took a leap, as the time neared. He was standing on the door with a new self. He entered and took his seat, not the usual couch where he laid talking all about his life. He took a seat in front of my desk. “I watched three theatres in a row and got home late”, he said. He wrote his new project and left his job. Absolutely new, thats what I thought- a changed man, confident of his being. Not just this, he managed an outdoor late night party with his friends. And of course they too were amazed by his outward self. On and on he went about his stories full of life. Deep into the satisfaction of another cured patient, a changed man I thought, confident of his being, I realized that he suddenly shifted the course of his conversation. Huh? It involved me. Thats what I thought – a changed man, confident of his being, until this moment, when he had come down to my cabin for his last scheduled psychotherapy treatment- he said he has fallen for me. Alas! Still a followed man!
Monday, March 9, 2009
closed
Past is all forgotten and unsaid,
Wounds are far healed and cared,
shadows no more, form around in circles
but a tear that trickles down can’t be etched
from the gallows of memories and wisp of efforts
when you break the hardest out and breathe
that tear melts down and happens to pass by
time and over again
from ages and long months gone
there is reminiscence of things that were
yet so real, yet so reel
I have lived so far and died quite few
looking out and in if you ask me so
solids melt but this wont
a mark not cleaned and so warm
tomorrow’s ocular and yet unknown
it must have been some black hole
that gravities by
washes me away to universe not seen
I will love again and yet I won’t
I am sad but happy as well
those tons of baggies undelivered
I’m walking on the destiny path
leaving my footprints and your marks apart
but here is the question I make
not to you but my own self
why do you walk those broken paths again
make me wonder and stand again
hair stand up and eyes blur out
eyes tear and ears fume alike
I’m not wrong and neither you were
what was the problem in the end
no wonder, no contemporary thoughts
no seldom looking for you in beaches
lastly no goodbyes, no blessings
just simple wish erase that you happened
Wounds are far healed and cared,
shadows no more, form around in circles
but a tear that trickles down can’t be etched
from the gallows of memories and wisp of efforts
when you break the hardest out and breathe
that tear melts down and happens to pass by
time and over again
from ages and long months gone
there is reminiscence of things that were
yet so real, yet so reel
I have lived so far and died quite few
looking out and in if you ask me so
solids melt but this wont
a mark not cleaned and so warm
tomorrow’s ocular and yet unknown
it must have been some black hole
that gravities by
washes me away to universe not seen
I will love again and yet I won’t
I am sad but happy as well
those tons of baggies undelivered
I’m walking on the destiny path
leaving my footprints and your marks apart
but here is the question I make
not to you but my own self
why do you walk those broken paths again
make me wonder and stand again
hair stand up and eyes blur out
eyes tear and ears fume alike
I’m not wrong and neither you were
what was the problem in the end
no wonder, no contemporary thoughts
no seldom looking for you in beaches
lastly no goodbyes, no blessings
just simple wish erase that you happened
abstract
It’s a tougher day, it’s a longer night
there are so many worldly frights
screwed up so am I,
so is whole of the world out
I want to scream out and freak more
shout at the top of my voice and your head
apologies I make apologies I break
anymore I wish I could take
leave me alone for some time atleast
im a free bird and a free soul
let me fly and feel the freedom
Freedom,,,,
there are so many worldly frights
screwed up so am I,
so is whole of the world out
I want to scream out and freak more
shout at the top of my voice and your head
apologies I make apologies I break
anymore I wish I could take
leave me alone for some time atleast
im a free bird and a free soul
let me fly and feel the freedom
Freedom,,,,
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