sitting on the pavement, she thinks of the golden days when she had her charm ...when she could achieve anything, everything, now she thought she has been reduced to nothing, the walls of freedom had been breached, so had been the text of lonliness, but she felt more bound, and aloof,,,she could see the world around moving..birds chirping..and people doing great....but what she felt for herself now was a full stop...she felt herself incapable of anything,everything, she was late for everything, she couldnot do anythig for a start, all this was not just a figment of her imagination...or wisp of just notions, it felt different, it felt pressurising...she felt a need to do something different, something more, so that she herself could be som1 ...she doesnot want to be just no1,,but wht she wanted to b was som1..known..som1 more popular of her knowledge, attitute, .....her urge was so strong that it was bringing her to pieces,,,,it all reduced her n her feel to nothing but a burden.
There was need of some attention, n some love, that was true..but what she needed most was to do something wc could render her a place in the society..!she waited for some hours, even days..if she could change the situation....
Her fortune said often that she is kind-hearted, cheerful and well-liked......but what she felt was, ntg doing wd all these characters wc she thought could be earned as easily as a glass f water,
for her she was nothing but another creation of god, nothing special, nothing different, just to be there to fill the empty space on this planet earth, which too now was full for people like her, no space , no place!
a tear slowly rolled down her cheek, but she wiped it away as quick as flipping of a page...she thought that even these feelings of hers are going to elope lik all her other feelings that she ever encountered in the course of her life passage...good or bad...whtever one day they all rested in the graveyard of her mind,
she wished her these absolete so not so absolete feelings to change, so she wished for the situation, but what she hoped was she herself could change something about her own self.
she admired but couldnot even count a few number who admired her, though many claimed to but actually how many did..was still an utter confusion....could time take a leap..and pass away such griping n bitter thoughts of hers was what any1 could wish for her....but what she wanted was no leap or jump or change but a gradual shift over , so that this problem(yet problem seems to be too strong) of hers could be solved forever, that in no time could she experience the same again...but complete transformation of it, where she could feel pride n power as she once did ...long ago...that thought brings another thought that whether everything is momentary..whether it is feel of being small or the feeling of pride...is all ds momentary? then why does she fight for it and then why does she crave for something so badly...she, every1 can easily guess...has been trapped from where she herself could come out wd out being harmed, absolutely armed....and that could be possible only through, she thinks, through gradual but constant up risal of her own self!!
