to loneliness

Golden days, life was play
Pain was all a world away
Then life took a turn
I had to learn
And I can't go back again

Truths were true and lies were lies
I thought love would never die
But the world moved on
My illusion's gone
And I don't know whom to blame

I heard your voice through a photograph
I thought it up, it brought up the past
Once you know you can never go back
I've got to take it on the other side

Many times Ive been a traveller
I looked for something new
In days of old
When nights were cold
I wandered without you
But those days I thought my eyes
Had seen you standing near
Though blindness is confusing
It shows that you're not here
I close my eyes, and think of home
Another city goes by in the night
Ain't it funny how it is, you never miss it 'til it's gone away
And my heart is lying there and will be 'til my
dying day

Why worry, there should be laughter after pain
There should be sunshine after rain
These things have always been the same

we existed

I don't crawl..
neither do I
pass by,

Im not
stationary..
still, I want to fly.

what's my
faith..
why's an intricate mystery,

showed the
path..
enlightened the slang history.

won the
battles..
and graduated over absolute peace,

settled no
less..
and yes, savers are we.

played being
chess..
today's the future I see.

speaking of
stories..
I fill my solitude waiting,

amid this black
night..
I'm shadow of a long forgotten hero!

a day long back...

sitting on the pavement, she thinks of the golden days when she had her charm ...when she could achieve anything, everything, now she thought she has been reduced to nothing, the walls of freedom had been breached, so had been the text of lonliness, but she felt more bound, and aloof,,,she could see the world around moving..birds chirping..and people doing great....but what she felt for herself now was a full stop...she felt herself incapable of anything,everything, she was late for everything, she couldnot do anythig for a start, all this was not just a figment of her imagination...or wisp of just notions, it felt different, it felt pressurising...she felt a need to do something different, something more, so that she herself could be som1 ...she doesnot want to be just no1,,but wht she wanted to b was som1..known..som1 more popular of her knowledge, attitute, .....her urge was so strong that it was bringing her to pieces,,,,it all reduced her n her feel to nothing but a burden.

There was need of some attention, n some love, that was true..but what she needed most was to do something wc could render her a place in the society..!she waited for some hours, even days..if she could change the situation....

Her fortune said often that she is kind-hearted, cheerful and well-liked......but what she felt was, ntg doing wd all these characters wc she thought could be earned as easily as a glass f water,

for her she was nothing but another creation of god, nothing special, nothing different, just to be there to fill the empty space on this planet earth, which too now was full for people like her, no space , no place!

a tear slowly rolled down her cheek, but she wiped it away as quick as flipping of a page...she thought that even these feelings of hers are going to elope lik all her other feelings that she ever encountered in the course of her life passage...good or bad...whtever one day they all rested in the graveyard of her mind,

she wished her these absolete so not so absolete feelings to change, so she wished for the situation, but what she hoped was she herself could change something about her own self.

she admired but couldnot even count a few number who admired her, though many claimed to but actually how many did..was still an utter confusion....could time take a leap..and pass away such griping n bitter thoughts of hers was what any1 could wish for her....but what she wanted was no leap or jump or change but a gradual shift over , so that this problem(yet problem seems to be too strong) of hers could be solved forever, that in no time could she experience the same again...but complete transformation of it, where she could feel pride n power as she once did ...long ago...that thought brings another thought that whether everything is momentary..whether it is feel of being small or the feeling of pride...is all ds momentary? then why does she fight for it and then why does she crave for something so badly...she, every1 can easily guess...has been trapped from where she herself could come out wd out being harmed, absolutely armed....and that could be possible only through, she thinks, through gradual but constant up risal of her own self!!

deep on the pages of book of my life
happiness, sadness, and a little jibe
few pages back to this refrain start
can you see that jubilient spark
yes the very day I prayed
and the shape of love you sprayed
O dear! on the pages of book of my life
happiness, sadness, and a little jibe

sitting in that aroma store
witing for something that had never happened before
you entered with a beaming smile
there was some change in your profile
tell me if all this was true
was it just between me and you?
O yes! on the pages of book of my life
happiness, sadness, and a little jibe

It was just another day
though many people passed my way
we walked together that lonely land
me, soothing beneath your loving hand
memories, did you happen to see
you realised, how happy you made me
come on, on the pages of book of my life
happiness, saddness, and a little jibe

I had lost myself in that rainy weather
flying high were my spirits like feather
in the arms of the prince of my dreams
your love for me was radiant beam
the silver line at that cloudy shore
with them came my secret uproar
the cold breeze, some drops a few
like me over the leaves as dew
you had harboured your ship on my land
pious and pure were its sand
love on the pages of book of my life
happiness, happiness, happiness, what a drive

but unfurl the closed section in there
a gloomy, turbid shelf to share
my long knit dreams were broken this time
in silence, I screamed, I cried
shattered was my virtual pride
I returned, along an inherent tear
what more, nothing left to fear
I had lost myself at that place
what I was now, was just a trace
I could not cry, neither anymore scream
I was broken, shattered, lost again in that dream
tears on the pages of book of my life
sadness, sadness, sadness, no drive

pages turn along with breeze
again life started with whistle and cheese
burning upright, was the love flame
in my heart, glowed your name
I laughed, I enjoyed every day again
but somewhere your absence, a burning train
back to start on the pages of book of my life
happiness, sadness, and a little jibe

aloof, I cried another night of my life
these were marks of some irony knife
I screamed aloud, a shout this time
I had lived a life time, I died at nine
gray are now the pages of my life book
silent cry and howl, nothing left to hook
Life again had played another game
but still upright is the same faith flame
resting beside the my life book
happiness, sadness, and a little jibe

wait..

darkness of night isinit so dark
its deep bright if you see from my side
cuddling emotions bubble up at the same time
and glorifies it even further
Its not just about the silent night
Its about you and me in the aroma of fumes
fumes, of the passion I carry for you
and the one hidden somewhere deep in you
Gluttering images of the closeness of two of us
your silent touch around the corner of my curl
the silent response with an echo of joy
another feel of that insensible self
stronger it goes, weaker I feel about myself
and the twinkling sensation thats deep in your eyes
one that links you and me and the world around
but the world is out of sight at this point of time
night awaits you and the pleasure you lend to time.