Glimpse

The darkness of the room .....now belonged to me.....the black...sticky....text of darkness entering into my veins......making the flow of my blood abrupt....discontinuous...reaching my heart...painting the chambers of my heart with black charcoal..... Lying straight on my bed......face up....black out everywhere...............
My pillow had changed its position...it now lied over my face......right arm over it.....pressing it hard.....about to choke....I slowly released my grip ...short of breath......breathing hard now...to fill my lungs of oxygen.......feeling all uneasy...my head jammed...fummed.....short of oxygen...paining.....slowly removing the pillow from over my face...Even more slowly and fearfully I opened my eyes......my eyes burning of fire......dunno in which flame my whole soul was burning......Eyes wide open.....starring at nothingness....trembling my whole body......aches of some unknown pain......short of breathe though taking long breaths......saliva filling my mouth......noises tearing my ears apart....upper jaw was digging into the lower one.....legs going numb....drops of sweat rolling all over my forehead...neck...shoulders......everywhere.....
and the lights of my room suddenly glow up.......tightly i shut back my eyes.......
then collecting myself...I opened my eyes to look who switched on the lights and found my ro..looking for a book at the far corner ...from where he couldnot see me.........light seemed mocking at me....scaring me....the glow of light entering my eyes....hurting.....iching...every bit ........causing neural disturbance....electrifying my nerve cells to a large extend....blinking more then normal....abnormally.....thats how I've been behaving....the glow of light ..now irritating the dark world my mind had dwelled into for so long....full of shouting silence...made of black beauty........glass walls.....I liked that more ......and yes I pushed my brother out of the room...turned the lights back off......weak with my this move....I came back to m bed.....at the corner.....bcak gain into my addiction....my addiction for that nothingness had made me rude...but who cares now......
A silent cry of remaining human part in me....a tear rolling down my cheek...making the skin wet.....followed by another....and my eyes broke out a flood of tears.....red tears.......Where am I??? Who am I???
Death now placed itself close to my lips.......somewhere at the corner of my private cupboard.....safely kept sleeping pills.....were calling me towards them......asking me to take them...and then lie in the arms of death ...peacefully...relaxed.......no not now......echoed a voice somewhere back head.......death had just kissed me close.....Fog of death curling all around me.....leaving me....fumes of death I watch them leaving ......eyes straining with the Glimpse of Nothingness........I'm in the cold cubical chamber of Depression.......

life..

when world says it all
and u hate to hear
when ur mind stops at some point
and people around force to move on
things seem lot difficult
life seems empty of all joy n colour
its time when u try not to speak up
but just shed n shed them on and on
n those tears u shed become some kind of
another patience support
which again u hate to endeavour n keep
edurance in turn brings out mental stress
jolted mind..forces to break free
and its barely possible to keep the hands joined
lets hear it once again
for the sake of life itself
to live it
love it,
and keep it going with a flame......a bright flame

Rainy day

RAINY DAY
Standing at the roadside...
looking at my watch impatiently...
scroching heat was no more for today...
clouds were encircling all around....
Suddenly, that glimpse...
electrified every nerve of mine...
placed a nice smile over my face...
and turned my cheeks red....
He loved to bike down...
---------------------
and me to sit on the second seat.....
Encircle my arms around his chest....
and let him feel the warmth of my breath...
Tickle with his ears with my teeths...
rub my cold cheeks,around his unshaved face....
----------------------
Rain started to pour down....
breeze started to blow up now....
perfect for the long awaited ride.....
with my affection on its heights....
He slowed down...a little
as I was coming out of my day dreams..
and breathed in the reality
He stood right next to me...
in front of her,yes,,right next to me
and held her hand...
and helped her up on that comfy seat...
The motor geared up once again..
my heart pace slowed down this time....
and they were out of sight....
I will wait here time and again...
but today.....let me enjoy the Rain....!