Glimpse

The darkness of the room .....now belonged to me.....the black...sticky....text of darkness entering into my veins......making the flow of my blood abrupt....discontinuous...reaching my heart...painting the chambers of my heart with black charcoal..... Lying straight on my bed......face up....black out everywhere...............
My pillow had changed its position...it now lied over my face......right arm over it.....pressing it hard.....about to choke....I slowly released my grip ...short of breath......breathing hard now...to fill my lungs of oxygen.......feeling all uneasy...my head jammed...fummed.....short of oxygen...paining.....slowly removing the pillow from over my face...Even more slowly and fearfully I opened my eyes......my eyes burning of fire......dunno in which flame my whole soul was burning......Eyes wide open.....starring at nothingness....trembling my whole body......aches of some unknown pain......short of breathe though taking long breaths......saliva filling my mouth......noises tearing my ears apart....upper jaw was digging into the lower one.....legs going numb....drops of sweat rolling all over my forehead...neck...shoulders......everywhere.....
and the lights of my room suddenly glow up.......tightly i shut back my eyes.......
then collecting myself...I opened my eyes to look who switched on the lights and found my ro..looking for a book at the far corner ...from where he couldnot see me.........light seemed mocking at me....scaring me....the glow of light entering my eyes....hurting.....iching...every bit ........causing neural disturbance....electrifying my nerve cells to a large extend....blinking more then normal....abnormally.....thats how I've been behaving....the glow of light ..now irritating the dark world my mind had dwelled into for so long....full of shouting silence...made of black beauty........glass walls.....I liked that more ......and yes I pushed my brother out of the room...turned the lights back off......weak with my this move....I came back to m bed.....at the corner.....bcak gain into my addiction....my addiction for that nothingness had made me rude...but who cares now......
A silent cry of remaining human part in me....a tear rolling down my cheek...making the skin wet.....followed by another....and my eyes broke out a flood of tears.....red tears.......Where am I??? Who am I???
Death now placed itself close to my lips.......somewhere at the corner of my private cupboard.....safely kept sleeping pills.....were calling me towards them......asking me to take them...and then lie in the arms of death ...peacefully...relaxed.......no not now......echoed a voice somewhere back head.......death had just kissed me close.....Fog of death curling all around me.....leaving me....fumes of death I watch them leaving ......eyes straining with the Glimpse of Nothingness........I'm in the cold cubical chamber of Depression.......