sitting by his side, with no words framing to come out, in silence which said more than words can ever comprehend. i was not looking at him, instead had fixed my gaze on a star nearby. A tear rolling down my already wet cheek. i wanted to ask him why he did this to me? why did he leave me when i needed him? why did he leave me aloof, alone to just rot all by myself? why did he, after this long company, after so much of patience? if he had to do this, then why did he made me addict? above all, why did he let me see a part of his soul and show mine, why?why?why?
I wanted to ask all this and a lot more but everytime i tried speaking something nothing came out except my lip trembled and i could feel another tear rolling down. my eyes, contradicted my thoughts though, they were as blank as if nothingness had just grabbed them in a blanket except them being wet, nothing was saidby them. my head was jammed, it was full of rage and on the other hand it begged for the same old sympathy, so may be in confusion, my eyes wept of helplessness. i couldnot blame him, because he had been with me in times no body ever stayed to live with me, as a guardian, a friend, a parent, a lover, a teacher, student, preacher, everything and even sometimes been nothing, zeroif i wanted him to. so how can i blame hime now, can i?
my lower lip trembled again and this time something broke the silence. in my own war, i had not thought even for a single time, if i can still confide in him, if i can still let him taste my soul, hmm....
so what broke the silence, repeated itself, thats what i think..he said,"whats the matter?"
huh! whats the matter
had he lost his mind or was he trying to act smart and play safe?
what? i tried to repeat his words but yet again nothing except a tremble.
he repeated"whats the matter?"
and i perplexed and even more helpless, helpless beyond nothingness..with another tear rolling down this time i collected the courage and said slowly but firmly. "why did you leave?
did i ever leave you?", "did i leave you?"he asked
and the answer being clear but i wanted an answer for my question, not naother question in reply.
he said I love you, beyond you even yourself can realise but its you who has to face things all by yourself, i can be there but can never actually help. but, u and i are one now, you or me whats the difference.
you are a part of my soul and I, you, then from where does this question arise?I asked
I could sense that same sympathy again, in his eyes and I was all relieved this time.
BUt he didnt seem to have dropped the matter"look", he said."yours and mine souls are connected, but each and every individual has to face his difficulties himself to resolve them, one cannot dwell on anyother person's soul, neither you can borrow my strength nor my weakness, just a small support I can offer you. Its not that I don't like being there with you always or helping you out but this is your time to grow up into something, and at times learn to gather your own strength all by yourself to fight.
"oh moon! you'll always be mine"
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